When God Doesn't Behave

After finishing my master’s degree, I was hired by my alma matter to teach for the fall semester. But as Christmas approached, I discovered that my contract wouldn’t be renewed. Although I was more than disappointed, I quickly learned of a job opening at the nearby community college and, as expected, made it to the final interview with the Vice Chancellor—just me and another young man. Surely, I would get the job.

Then, I got the call and a sinking feeling in my chest as I listened to the words, “Not chosen.” I was officially unemployed. No salary. COBRA insurance that would run out all too quickly. And no prospects anytime in the near future since teachers are usually hired for January or August start dates.

Over the next couple months, I was rejected for countless jobs, most that required less education than I had, including Wal-mart. What was going on?!? Had I listened to God wrong when choosing my degree path? (No.) Was I being punished for some unrepented of sin? (No.) Then why wasn’t God getting me a job…now?

I was devastated. God was not behaving like I thought He should.

King David suffered a similar devastation with God acting differently than expected after he decided to bring the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem . There, the ark would at all times be before the people of Israel as a tangible reminder of God’s presence resting between the cherubim.

Talk about a huge parade: 30,000 lyre-playing, cymbal-smashing, tambourine-shaking men celebrated as they followed the oxen-pulled cart that carried the ark. Then, the unthinkable happened—the oxen stumbled, a man named Uzzah put out his hand to steady the ark, and God immediately struck him dead.

“David became angry because of the LORD'S outburst against Uzzah…So David was afraid of the LORD that day; and he said, ‘How can the ark of the LORD come to me?’” (2 Sam. 6:8-9). Devastated, he refused to take the ark one step further and left it at Obed-edom’s house.

David was offended by God’s actions. And he was scared. This wasn’t the God David thought he knew. This was a fearful God of seemingly random judgment and death.

Yet God was the same as he’d always been. David just didn’t know very well the God he was serving, a righteous, holy God whose very character dictated that He demand reverence and whole-hearted obedience to His Word.

It took David three months to learn God’s reaction was as a result of his own disobedience in not seeking God’s law for instructions in how to transport the ark. And in the knowledge that God was still the same holy God he’d been serving all along, David finally brought the ark into the city of Jerusalem.

In a little different situation, John the Baptist was also devotedly serving God (no disobedience in sight), proclaiming the way of the Lord, when he was imprisoned. How devastating that must have been, to be doing exactly what God called him to do and to be left sitting in jail. He must have wondered why Jesus didn’t miraculously get him out!

In his devastation at where God had placed him, he sent his disciples to Jesus to ask, "’Are You the Expected One, or do we look for someone else?’" (Lk. 7:20). Jesus said to tell John of the miracles He was working and then stated, “’Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me’” (Lk. 7:23).

We all have the opportunity to be offended with God when He doesn’t act how we think He should. When we feel devastated or offended by God’s actions, we must return to our knowledge of who Scripture says God is. We must rest in the belief that He will always act according to who Scripture says He is, according to his full and complete character, not just part of his character...and that He will always act according to what He knows is best for us, our eternal salvation, and His glory.




Posting from the archives tonight, believing these words even as I pause from this blog to grieve for a brother and sister in Christ.

The Difference Hope Can Make in Your Marriage

This week, my children have been memorizing Jeremiah 29:11: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I've always focused on the beginning and ending phrases in this passage--(1) that the Lord knows all that will happen to me and (2) that He desires a prosperous future for me.  

Such promises go hand in hand with Paul's words: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Rom. 8:28). 

Somehow, though, I've skipped over the middle part of Jeremiah's promise--"to give you hope."  I've never perceived hope as an important gift from God, but all one need do is seriously imagine a life without hope, and its necessity becomes clear.

Consider living each day with no hope that things would ever get better in your life--no hope for a better job, no hope that your children would mature into productive adults, no hope that your marriage would be happier, no hope in a future beyond this life.  

Imagine a hopeless existence where you must admit to yourself, "This is as good as it gets." Even those who would admit being happy with their lives in general still live with hope, if not for themselves than for a better world.

Paul explains how hope is a lot like faith, in believing in the unseen: "For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it" (Rom. 8:24-25).

God gives us hope to carry us through those hard nights and days.  Perhaps it is not a hope for a perfect life here on earth, but it is always a hope for an eternal future in Christ.  

Without hope, it is too easy to accept defeat.  Nowhere is this most clear to me than in the realm of marriage.  

In Shaunti Feldhahn's newest book: The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths About Marriage and Divorce, she argues the greatest threat to the modern marriage is not divorce but lack of hope.  

She writes,"You've probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these 'facts' are actually myths."

Feldhahn then breaks these myths down, explaining how they came about in the first place, such as the 50% divorce rate being based on projected divorces instead of actual measured divorces. In other words, what we have told to be facts are just assumptions--and faulty ones at that. 

According to Feldhahn's research, 72% of married people are still married to their first spouse (p. 21). What's more, 80% of all marriages are happy (p. 44).  

Interestingly enough, even unhappy marriages can have hope.  Feldhahn writes, "Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later...Among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of ten who avoided divorce were happily married five years later" (p. 53).

Such statistics are incredibly encouraging, offering hope that things will get better in even an unhappy marriage.

The most empowering part of this short book, though, deals with Christianity and marriage.  I've been discouraged in the past by the Barna study that showed the divorce rate being the same for Christians as non-Christians, but Feldhahn explains the Barna researchers only studied "those who professed to hold Christian beliefs, not those who went to church" (p. 67).  In essence, a person could have been a Christian in name only and still have been stuck in the "Christian" category.

Feldhahn's research, however, studied those who were active in their faith and discovered that "weekly church attendance alone lowers the divorce rate significantly--roughly 25 to 50 percent" (p. 67).    

What's more, "couples who go to church or other religious services together on a regular basis have the lowest divorce rate of any group studied, regardless of other factors such as how long they've been married" (p. 74).  In short, nominal Christianity may not make a difference in a person's marriage, but active Christianity definitely does.

While not everything in Feldhahn's book is encouraging (for instance, 74% of first unions now live together before marriage), the bulk of her findings are well worth both Christians and non-Christians taking note of.  Despite the bad news the media constantly feeds us about marriage, the truth is more encouraging.  

Consider how these lies impact our view of marriage.  Even in the church, there is a sense of hopelessness concerning the state of marriage in America, the opposite of what God intends us to have, especially in a heart devoted to Him. 

Consider the impact hope can have upon your marriage and my marriage.  If a couple believes half of marriages fail, then they are predisposed to be less hopeful about their own marriage.  When hard times come, they tell themselves divorce was statistically bound to happen anyway.  However, if that same couple believes most marriages do make it, then that hope will propel them to work harder to ensure their marriage survives.

It's the promise of hope.  It's the power of hope.   

Pass it on.

Divorce isn’t the greatest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.

You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths?
- See more at: http://www.shaunti.com/book/good-news-marriage/#sthash.GACgTGzp.dpuf

Divorce isn’t the greatest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.

You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths?
- See more at: http://www.shaunti.com/book/good-news-marriage/#sthash.GACgTGzp.dpuf

Hands, Feet, Eyes, and Teeth

It started as an almost imperceptible pinch each time I closed my teeth together while chewing my meal.  Three weeks later, the discomfort was becoming more persistent to the point where I could no longer chalk it up to my imagination; there was a problem with my lower back molar.

In my mind, a cracked tooth doesn't happen to thirty-seven-year olds who take good care of their teeth; eat healthily; and avoid chewing ice or hard candy.  Yet, there I was in the dentist's chair with that very problem.

My usual jolly dentist leaned back and tightened his jaw before speaking, those lines creeping outward from the corners of his mouth in a classic "this is bad news" kind of way. If the crack were vertical, a crown would take care of it. If it were horizontal, I'd need a root canal.  Wear the temporary for six weeks and see. Just wait.

By week four, the problem had only worsened.  At times, it felt like my mouth was in labor, the pulsing waves ever-dull in the background, cresting whenever I tried to chew near that tooth.  Shoulders slumped in defeat, I contacted the endodontist only to discover she was on a family vacation!  It would be another week and a half until I could have the root canal, then another week of "recuperating" agony before the ligaments calmed down and the permanent crown was in place.

Her diagnosis was a "small crack deep inside the tooth and situated right on top of the nerve."  One tiny crack had inflamed the ligaments surrounding the tooth to the point where even a week after the root canal, just clinking my teeth together could send me to my knees.

Small.  Tiny.

Tomorrow marks eleven weeks since I felt the first sharp pain, and I'm beginning to feel whole again.  Through it all, though, I have been devastated at how one small part of a person's body can have such a monumental impact on the remaining members and, what's more, how one small part can impact everyone else around.

It's a lesson I thought I had learned last August when witnessing my husband suffering through his first root canal.   Obviously not.  There's just something about suffering first-hand that gives more clarity, puts the flesh of experience on bare bones of theory.

Less than a year ago, I looked at Paul's warning in 1 Corinthians to the body of Christ, exhorting them to consider each member of the body as equally important to the health of the whole.  That definitely is a life lesson we could learn from a little tooth pain.  And yet, this time around, my mind has kept settling on the gospels and body parts that cause you problems!

Jesus told His disciples, "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire. If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell" (Matt. 18:8-9). 

A hand, foot, or an eye--definitely not a tooth.  Definitely something I would miss if I cut it off or plucked it out. What's more, it's something others would surely notice.

If one tooth could alter the course of my life for eleven weeks, imagine the trouble a foot could cause?  By using this metaphor of a hand, foot, or eye (versus a tooth), Jesus demonstrated several things.  

1.  Even useful body parts that are integral to who we are as a person can be instruments of our own destruction and, yes, our own damnation. 


2.  Every part of our body or "life" affects our walk with Christ.  It could be that we have a "hand" we've used for our entire lives, but that hand is now causing us to stumble in our Christian walk. Just because we've always lived with two metaphorical hands, feet, or eyes isn't a reason to keep them in our lives. 

And yes, sometimes, those parts of our lives that are the most deeply entrenched--those people, habits, and traditions we've known for what seems like forever--those are the most difficult to cast off, which is likely why Jesus chose such an extreme analogy. 

In a sense, cutting those things out of our lives that cause us to stumble feels like cutting off an appendage.

3.  Jesus doesn't say change will be easy. In fact, the analogy implies just the opposite--that of much pain, agony, and a lasting sense of "loss" that you do not forget once that hand or foot is gone from our lives--but He does say it's better to cut it off than to live with the other eternal consequences.

4.  Jesus also doesn't say change is private.  If I cut off a hand or foot or even pluck out an eye, everyone around will know it.  It is reasonable to assume that many actions a Christian must take to keep himself from stumbling will be very public to those around him.

Perhaps it is that you cannot socialize with a best friend anymore or that you must distance yourself from a close family member because she causes you to stumble.  Or perhaps it is a place you have frequented or an activity you have participated in your entire life but you now find it causing you to waver in your devotion to Jesus.

Hand, foot, eye, or (yes) even tooth--a single part of our lives affects the entirety.  No matter how large or small, how painful, or how public, we are called to leave behind whatever entangles us so that we can run the race God has set before us...completely unhindered, so we can walk without stumbling.

I Know That I Know

Bookstores abound with historical and fictional stories of people searching for their past, trying to find out where they came from. Even many popular films show a main character on a sometimes lifelong quest to discover herself.

This search for who I am, to know myself, is a major step to becoming what I can be. To know who I am is to avoid being swayed by any other versions of myself that people or society may try to impose on me. To know who I am means I don't have to prove myself to anybody.

The problem is many of us don't know who we are...or even if we do know, we sometimes forget, questioning whether what we know is true. And that forgetting, questioning, uncertainty is where we stumble and lose our effectiveness.

Jesus? He knew who He was. The religious leaders hated him. The people wanted Him to be something He was not. Even His disciples really didn't understand Him.

But He knew, and that was all that counted, what determined His actions.

One interesting demonstration of this concept is found at the Last Supper. Scripture says: "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:3-5).

Look at the connection between the first and second parts of verse three. Taking out all the extra words, the verse reads simply, "Jesus knew...SO..." He "began to wash his disciples' feet."

It's like saying, "I was thirsty SO I drank some water." But in this verse, it's not readily apparent why Part B of the verse is caused by Part A. What's the connection? How does "Jesus knew" and His subsequent actions relate?

The answer lies in Jesus' knowing who He is.

He knew His position in the godhead. He knew He was royalty with a throne awaiting Him. There was no questioning, no forgetting, no doubting.

He knew that He knew that He knew.

And because of that knowledge, He had no problem washing the disciples' feet, lowering Himself below the role of a servant, making Himself a servant of servants.

Many times, I wonder if it would be easier to follow Jesus wholeheartedly if we really and truly knew with 101% of our being who we were.

Imagine the difference it would make in our actions and attitudes if we knew that we knew that we are royalty, too? If we didn't question it--ever?

How much easier it would be to turn the other cheek, do the selfless duties nobody else wants to do, and live life fully as a servant, sacrificing everything for the sake of Christ...and not worrying about how crazy our actions made us appear to the world.


(Republished from the archives: July 2010)

Twisted Definitions: What Belief Really Means

A Harris Poll from December 2013 reports a decline in American adults' belief in God.  This should not be surprising to anyone living in our present culture.  Currently, 74% of Americans believe in God, compared to 82% less than a decade ago.  In that same time, belief in Jesus as the Son of God also slipped from 72% to 68%. 

Belief.  It's a word that means different things to different people.  In our culture, we have tied the term to mere intellectual acknowledgement, separating one's actions from one's mind.  In other words, I can intellectually believe something is true while still acting differently.

And yet, that's not true belief, at least, this is not the kind of belief God is looking for.

Paul tells us, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation" (Rom. 10:9-10).

There's that word "believe" again.  Vine's Expository Dictionary says this word means "'to believe,' also 'to be persuaded of,' and hence, 'to place confidence in, to trust,' signifies, in this sense of the word, reliance upon, not mere credence"

It's that phrase "reliance upon" that is the key to true belief, especially true belief in Jesus that results in salvation.  

The prophet Isaiah states the same concept: "In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength" (Is. 30:15).

The key to salvation is two-fold: (1) repentance (Paul's "confess with your mouth") and (2) resting in the Lord.  It's this "rest" that mirrors the New Testament's concept of "reliance upon." This is the type of belief God is looking for in the hearts of men and women today--not mere intellectual assent that He is God or that Jesus was His Son but rather a heart that moment by moment rests constantly in Him.

The Psalmist explains this heart-resting in the Lord quite well: "My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, ...My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my  glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah. My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken" (Ps. 62:1-2; 5-8).

Waiting.  Resting.  In the Lord.  This is true belief in God.

A soul that intellectually acknowledges Jesus as Lord of their life but whose life shows no evidence of relying upon, of resting in God--that is not true belief.  If I say I believe in God but I run my own life, make my own decisions, all without ever consulting him, then I'm not truly believing or resting in Him.

If I really believe the Bible, then I obey it.  I rest in its Words.  I rely upon its Words.

And therein lies a reward--strength.  

Strength to survive this life is not found in large armies, scientific discoveries, or a big bank account.  It's not found in might or fighting tooth and nail.  Ironically, it's the opposite.  Strength is found when we truly believe with all our heart, soul, and mind in Jesus as the only Savior of our souls.  Strength is found in rest and only when we rest in Him.

If our actions do not match up with our intellectual beliefs, then those beliefs are not true, will not save our souls, and will not result in daily strength to overcome this world.

I am convinced Satan rejoices over these twisted definitions, allowing us to be so close to the truth but so far from it at the same time.  It's time for us to stand up and help the world around us understand what belief in God really means.

If Prophecy Is More About "Who" Than "When"

Like many in the modern church, I grew up learning an unspoken doctrine called "replacement theology," a big phrase meaning that the birth of the New Testament Church replaced the nation of Israel in God's eyes.  In essence, Jews were cut off from God's blessings when they rejected His Son at Calvary, opening up the door for Gentiles to come into the fold as adopted sons and daughters.  This new family of God' became the new owners of any prior blessings or promises made to the nation of Israel .

Less than a decade ago, though, I opened the pages of the Old Testament and studied it--really studied it, not just browsed the stories as historical accounts.  Not only did I find Jesus foreshadowed in every book, but I learned that God wasn't finished with Israel, that there was still a remnant of God's promised people yet to play a part in end-times prophecy.  In other words, Israel and the Jewish people were still important to God and were still privy to God's promises.

At that time, my heart began to soften my heart towards the nation of Israel.  I began learning about the Jewish Feasts of the Lord and how, although as a Gentile, I was not required to celebrate them, that I was missing out because of my naive belief that they were Jewish and, thus, unimportant to me.  In truth, the traditions so much a part of each Feast or Holy Day pointed straight to fulfillment in Jesus, the Messiah. This knowledge, though, was not part of my childhood upbringing in church.  I was quickly learning that there was a gap in my theology, one that completely ignored the Jewishness of Jesus. 

Pastor and author Ray Bentley states, "When the church became disconnected from her Jewish roots, Christians lost the fullness of God's glory" (p. 40).  This disconnectedness traces back even to the Council of Nicaea, typically seen as a solidifying marker for modern Christianity, but which actually "furthered the alienation of Christianity from its Jewish roots" (p. 83).  Wanting to distance the church from the Jews, Constantine both changed the date for celebrating Jesus' resurrection and  "planted in the heart of the church the seeds of contempt for Jews and a clear separation from them as the only proper Christian attitude" (p. 84).

The historical persecution that followed--and that is still at work today--is well-documented.

This ancient history lesson is how Bentley begins his newest book, The Holy Land Key: Unlocking End-Times Prophecy Through the Lives of God's People in Israel.  It's a catchy title sure to draw in numerous people from the modern church looking for a "key" to understanding the prophecies concerning Christ's return.  Yet, this isn't a book about Revelation or anything to do with the when or how of Christ's return.  Overall, it has to do with the who of Jesus' return and how both the New Testament Church and the nation of Israel both play a part in that prophecy.

In short, to understand Biblical prophecy hinges on our understanding not the what or the when but rather the who God's people are.

As the author states, "Israel is people--not just a prophetic clock on the wall, revealing a prophecy timetable" (p. 21, my italics).

He then defines this "who" as including Israelis, Palestinians, and Arabs, not what I typically think when I picture God's chosen children in my mind.  Yet, by exploring God's covenant with Abraham and his two subsequent children Isaac and Ishmael, along with where those peoples settled down, my own heart was convicted much like the author's who stated, "In my zeal to get to know the Jews, I almost ignored the children of Abraham's other son, Ishmael" (p. 58).

When I consider the children of God, I don't automatically think of Palestinian Christians.  And I certainly don't think of Arab Christians, even though "Arabs were present in Jerusalem on the day of Pentecost (see Acts 2). Arabs accepted the new faith from the beginning, and Arab Christian tribes thrived in the Middle East from the earliest days of Christianity...[until today] as a struggling minority of second-class citizens for generations" (p. 61).

To ignore Palestinians or Arabs as God's children and only accept the Israelite is to house prejudices within our hearts, racist tendencies we may not have even known to exist within our breast.

Bentley does give several chapters to explaining how God's people seek patterns in prophecy and how the seasons and feasts in the Jewish Calendar can open our eyes to God's work.  But overall, his thesis remains that God is calling the Church to "step into the prophetic story": "God is inviting the church to travel with His chosen people, to bless Naomi's descendants, to build the bridge" between Gentile and Jew, Palestinian and Jew, Arab and Gentile, one in which we all join God together where He is working to fulfill prophecy (p. 200, 57).

From The Nehemiah Project and American Friends of Ariel to The Joshua Fund and Hope for Ishmael, Bentley gives several ways in which American Christians and the New Testament Church can begin getting involved in fulfilling Romans 1:16-17: "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, 'The just shall live by faith.'"

The warning is clear--learning prophecy is unimportant if we are unwilling to place ourselves within prophecy: "It is not enough just to read a book or study prophecy the way we might study American literature or the history of ancient Egypt.  This is God's work we learn about in the Bible from the mouths of the ancient prophets. And it is His work we see unfolding today in the Middle East. As the prophesied events continue to unfold, the entire world will be affected...To understand God, His work on earth, history, and the future--including God's plans for the end of the age--we must understand and stand in support of Israel. It is our opportunity now to get involved in advance of the warfare that will precede God's judgment" (p. 201-202).

Let us not be guilty of being interested in the end times just for curiosity sake.  And may our hearts not be prejudiced such that we fail to see our Palestinian, Arab, and Israelite Christian brothers and sisters working within that prophecy until its fulfillment.

I challenge you as I challenge myself to find a way to plug in to God's work in the Middle East. God's Kingdom is coming. 

If I Die Without Ever Knowing

It has been the same routine every Thursday morning for almost three years now.  The alarm brings a frown much earlier than usual, no matter how late my work the night before.  Except for those mornings that find the temperatures below freezing or rain pouring down hard upon the earth, I obediently rise to lace up my well-worn tennis shoes, load up whatever children are in the house, then drive to my local church house.  There, I gather with a handful of heavenly brothers and sisters to pray before driving together to one of dozens of neighborhoods within a ten mile radius of our church. 

Unlike three years ago, I no longer have to lug out the stroller and push two year old twins down the asphalt or maneuver them up and over the concrete curbs.  My now five-year-old children bounce, run, and leap as we walk, pray, speak God's love to any neighbors we come in contact with, and leave Scripture on every door in each subdivision. 

When I first felt God's call to commit myself to this ministry, I hoped I would make a difference.  I trusted in the words of Isaiah 55:11: "So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."

My heart clings to these words, that God will accomplish what He desires from our giving others His Word, no matter what.


But even the gentle wind manages to wear solid rock down to mere sand.  Year after year, I have not seen much fruit as a result of my obedience.  What's more, it has sometimes been difficult to find fellow laborers to walk with me on this journey to fulfill the command that "you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth" (Acts 1:8).

My feet continue to pound the pavement in my Jerusalem.  Every time I even think about calling it quits, that gentle voice within reminds me of this fact and spurs me onward once more. 

I remember my first voyage through the winding roads and cookie cutter houses that looked all the same.  More than once, we got "lost" while walking.  Now, though, I don't see my Jerusalem the same way.  Instead, I see the nuanced differences.  I pass by the yards a second, third, fourth time and remember them from before, praying for my Jerusalem not as an unknown place with unknown people but as somewhere familiar and filled with individuals. 

I know the house with the large dog whose paws reach the top of the fence, the house where the man asked me to pray for his cancer and who was cancer free when I knocked a year later.  There's the house with the pet potbellied pig, the one with the new mother of twins, the one whose occupant grew up in an orphanage.  I remember the house whose driveway was torn out last year, the one with the creepy pretend graveyard on the front lawn, and the one with cigarette butts strewn down the tiny front porch.  

This may not seem like a big deal, but it is a giant step in coming to see people as God does--individuals, all in need of a Savior, not just identical house after another in an endless line of nothing that I can ignore as meaningless and unimportant. 

A few weeks ago, I read an article I haven't been able to get out of my mind:

Missionary Died Thinking He Was a Failure: 84 Years Later Thriving Churches Found Hidden in the Jungle.

The article begins, "In 1912, medical missionary Dr. William Leslie went to live and minister to tribal people in a remote corner of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. After 17 years he returned to the U.S. a discouraged man – believing he failed to make an impact for Christ. He died nine years after his return."

Meanwhile, Christian natives who had heard the gospel from Leslie began a network of small churches that began spreading the gospel throughout the jungles.  Not till 2010 did someone re-enter those jungles to share Jesus only to find He was already there and quite alive in the hearts of many.

Wow. 

The question is the same as always--are we willing to serve the Lord for nothing?  Are we willing to serve Him, however He commands...even if we die thinking ourselves a failure?

For the sake of a world full of the hopeless and lost, I can only hope our answer continues to be yes.



Image: Dr. Leslie's Vanga mission from 1912.