I've always focused on the beginning and ending phrases in this passage--(1) that the Lord knows all that will happen to me and (2) that He desires a prosperous future for me.
Such promises go hand in hand with Paul's words: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Rom. 8:28).
Somehow, though, I've skipped over the middle part of Jeremiah's promise--"to give you hope." I've never perceived hope as an important gift from God, but all one need do is seriously imagine a life without hope, and its necessity becomes clear.
Consider living each day with no hope that things would ever get better in your life--no hope for a better job, no hope that your children would mature into productive adults, no hope that your marriage would be happier, no hope in a future beyond this life.
Imagine a hopeless existence where you must admit to yourself, "This is as good as it gets." Even those who would admit being happy with their lives in general still live with hope, if not for themselves than for a better world.
Paul explains how hope is a lot like faith, in believing in the unseen: "For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it" (Rom. 8:24-25).
God gives us hope to carry us through those hard nights and days. Perhaps it is not a hope for a perfect life here on earth, but it is always a hope for an eternal future in Christ.
Without hope, it is too easy to accept defeat. Nowhere is this most clear to me than in the realm of marriage.
In Shaunti Feldhahn's newest book: The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths About Marriage and Divorce, she argues the greatest threat to the modern marriage is not divorce but lack of hope.
She writes,"You've probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these 'facts' are actually myths."
Feldhahn then breaks these myths down, explaining how they came about in the first place, such as the 50% divorce rate being based on projected divorces instead of actual measured divorces. In other words, what we have told to be facts are just assumptions--and faulty ones at that.
According to Feldhahn's research, 72% of married people are still married to their first spouse (p. 21). What's more, 80% of all marriages are happy (p. 44).
Interestingly enough, even unhappy marriages can have hope. Feldhahn writes, "Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later...Among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of ten who avoided divorce were happily married five years later" (p. 53).
Such statistics are incredibly encouraging, offering hope that things will get better in even an unhappy marriage.
The most empowering part of this short book, though, deals with Christianity and marriage. I've been discouraged in the past by the Barna study that showed the divorce rate being the same for Christians as non-Christians, but Feldhahn explains the Barna researchers only studied "those who professed to hold Christian beliefs, not those who went to church" (p. 67). In essence, a person could have been a Christian in name only and still have been stuck in the "Christian" category.
Feldhahn's research, however, studied those who were active in their faith and discovered that "weekly church attendance alone lowers the divorce rate significantly--roughly 25 to 50 percent" (p. 67).
What's more, "couples who go to church or other religious services together on a regular basis have the lowest divorce rate of any group studied, regardless of other factors such as how long they've been married" (p. 74). In short, nominal Christianity may not make a difference in a person's marriage, but active Christianity definitely does.
While not everything in Feldhahn's book is encouraging (for instance, 74% of first unions now live together before marriage), the bulk of her findings are well worth both Christians and non-Christians taking note of. Despite the bad news the media constantly feeds us about marriage, the truth is more encouraging.
Consider how these lies impact our view of marriage. Even in the church, there is a sense of hopelessness concerning the state of marriage in America, the opposite of what God intends us to have, especially in a heart devoted to Him.
Consider the impact hope can have upon your marriage and my marriage. If a couple believes half of marriages fail, then they are predisposed to be less hopeful about their own marriage. When hard times come, they tell themselves divorce was statistically bound to happen anyway. However, if that same couple believes most marriages do make it, then that hope will propel them to work harder to ensure their marriage survives.
It's the promise of hope. It's the power of hope.
Pass it on.
Divorce isn’t the greatest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.
You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths?- See more at: http://www.shaunti.com/book/good-news-marriage/#sthash.GACgTGzp.dpuf
Divorce isn’t the greatest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.
You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths?- See more at: http://www.shaunti.com/book/good-news-marriage/#sthash.GACgTGzp.dpuf
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