Inside Out: The Trouble with Self Esteem Psychology

In the fourth grade, I caught the chicken pox from another girl in my class named Jennifer. It wasn't that her mother just decided to send a sick child to church. She simply didn't know her daughter could possibly catch the virus a second time (she could).

A few spots here, another couple there--they were initially easily mistaken as bug bites. But even though her body wasn't yet covered in the red whelps, they were still signs of the disease lying beneath.

While the new chicken pox vaccine may eventually eradicate this disease completely, it can't touch the spots from a disease each and every person on the face of the earth is born with--the disease of sin. Scripture tells us, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us"(1 Jn. 1:8). Romans 3:10-12 also says, "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one"

As a child, I didn't understand these verses very well. I would sit with the Ten Commandments in front of me and think, "Well, I kept all those today." I wouldn't know what to confess to God, what to repent of. Obviously, I had yet to learn Jesus' teachings in Matthew 5 where He explained that anger in my heart is the equivalent to murder and lust in my heart is the equivalent to adultery.

As an adult, I still sometimes struggle with the concept that my flesh is evil. But truthfully, modern psychology is wrong and man is not basically good within himself. The new "good self esteem" programs being taught in schools are doing little more than teaching the next generation that God is wrong and sin isn't that big a part of their make-up.

Yes, the more wrinkles I earn, the easier it is for me to see myself as naturally sinful and evil.

In Evelyn Christenson's A Time to Pray God's Way, she teaches how to use Scripture to to help examine ourselves for spots of sin in our lives.

For example, Christenson writes:

Ephesians 4:28: 'Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor.'
Do you steal from your employer by doing less work, staying on the job less time than you are paid for? Do you under-pay?"

"Romans 12:11: 'Not slothful in business.'
Do you fail to pay your debts on time? Avoid paying them altogether? Do you charge more on credit cards than you can pay when due? Do you neglect to keep honest income tax records? Do you engage in any shady business deals whether as an employer or employee."

"1 Thessalonians 5:18: 'In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.'
Do you worry about anything? Have you failed to thank God for all things, the seemingly bad as well as the good? Do you neglect to give thanks at mealtime?"

Just like one of those invisible stamps that can only be seen under fluorescent light, that's the way Scripture acts. Beneath its glow, my skin looks more like a leopard than I ever knew.

How we perceive ourselves and our sin is critical in our relationship with Christ. Realizing our sin, examining our spots, and repenting--these actions are the difference between heaven and hell, between a close walk with the Father and a long-distance relationship with a tin-can phone.

(If you'd like the complete list of 20 verses / sins that Christenson gives on pp. 99-102 of her book, please email me & I'll send it. Hopefully, you'll find it as helpful as I do for rooting out sin in your life.)

The Worst Thing I've Ever Done

The cover of People magazine would read "Ordinary Housewife Confesses to Heinous Crime." Bored shoppers would grab a copy while waiting in line and flip through the pages to see a not-so-glamorous-photo of me with my angelic-looking three children. Inside, the story would tell about my hidden life of crime.

I can almost imagine the clucking "tisk tisk" sounds and side to side head shake of the older ladies. The middle aged crowd would gasp, their jaws dropping while their eyebrows go up.

Well, maybe the jaws and eyebrows wouldn't budge an inch. But they should.

My crime? It's worse than you think. Worse than murder. Far worse than adultery.

I'm guilty of ignoring God.

Yes, not loving God with my everything, letting pieces of the world slowly curl like tendrils around my mind and heart--I'm guilty...not just in my life before I became a Christian, but in my present-day life.

I'm sure I lost a good many readers two sentences ago. Maybe you're shaking your head, too, saying "Oh, that's not that bad...you're a good person overall." But I know myself better. I know how easy it is for me to forget God in the bustle of each day. And Scripture seems to agree with me.

For starters, I'm inherently sinful. David says of the earth's inhabitants, "there is no one who does good, not even one"(Ps. 14:3). Paul states, "There is no one righteous, not even one" (Rom. 3:10).

Then, to make matters even worse, Jesus says that by ignoring God, I've broken the "first and greatest commandment": "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment" (Matt. 22:37-38).

I think it's safe to assume Jesus labelled it the "first and greatest" for a reason, probably the same reason God placed "No other gods before me" as #1 on his list of do's and don't's (Ex. 20:3).

God reiterates this hierarchy later when He prophesies judgment on the nation of Israel. He states, "Hear the word of the LORD, you Israelites, because the LORD has a charge to bring against you who live in the land: "There is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgment of God in the land. There is only cursing, lying and murder, stealing and adultery; they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed" (Hos. 4:1-2).

In these verses, God's case against Israel starts with their lack of "faithfulness," "love," and "acknowledgment of God." Sounds pretty similar to Jesus' heart, soul, and mind admonition.

Only after God spends an entire sentence critiquing Israel for forgetting Him, for not loving Him as they should--only then does He rapid fire list in a second sentence all the other commandments that they have broken.

For a God who can skim over a hundred years of history with no comment, I think it's worth noting where He chooses to use His words--a whole sentence on one sin; another whole sentence on at least five more sins.

This is backwards from the way most people view sin--many will categorize the "biggie's" first--murder, stealing, adultery. But God?

In His economy, it's not what you haven't done wrong that counts like gold stars towards an eternal prize. Instead, He looks at what you haven't done right--and choosing to ignore God, to reject the saving blood of Jesus is the most important decision to get right...more important than choosing to not steal or murder.

No, ignoring God might not be a newsworthy enough crime for People or CNN, but it makes each and every one of us guilty sinners on a level playing field. And it makes us all equally in need of a merciful Savior to reconcile us to a holy God.

Even if Creation is Uncreated

Last week, my friend Lyla over at A Different Story suggested her readers spend "7 days in a Psalm."

I don't think...no, I know I've never spent seven days in one chapter before. My pastor has suggested it more times than I can count, but there's just so much ground to cover in the Word, and not really understanding the joys of in-depth Bible study until my late twenties makes me feel like I've wasted too many years for me to just park in eleven verses for an entire week of my ever-shortening life.

Yet, my quiet time these past two weeks of moving into our new home has been sorely lacking. Even my sporadic attempts at Bible study have been constantly interrupted by a barrage of unwelcome, nauseating to-do lists.

So, I decided seven days might be barely enough time for God to congeal my jello-like brain into a coherent Word to feed my hungry, hungry soul.

Last Monday, my Bible fell open to several other books, but I kept turning until it fell open to a page in the Psalms. A formerly pink highlighted verse in Psalm 46 caught my eye. And so I sat down to read, only to laugh aloud that God had directed me to a chapter with the words, "Be still, and know that I am God" (v. 11).

Yes, God let me know He already knew the problem I was having with focus and rest.

Truth be told, I missed one day of reading. But the other days, God directed me to individual verses, select words until today--day 7. Only today did God finally put the pieces together for me into a message of hope and security.

The Psalm speaks of God's creation in destructive turmoil against the backdrop of the unchanging, protective nature of God:

"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts." (v. 1-6)

At the sound of God's voice, "the earth melts." Think of the power in that statement.

The God who spoke in Genesis 1 and the earth was created. The God who spoke in a burning bush to Moses, yet it was not consumed. That same God speaks here--and the earth melts. I looked it up, and the word means just what it sounds like--"to dissolve, to melt away."*

One commentary described it this way: "the creation itself may seem to be uncreated."

Here in Louisiana, feeling the ever-increasing effects of the oil spill, it feels like creation, itself, is literally dissolving, melting away...being "uncreated." The wetlands and marshes are being infiltrated with the oil; our state's oyster beds are ruined; much of the wildlife on the coast is sick and dying. Who knows how many species of plants and animals are being "uncreated" as I write this one entry.

But creation's destruction isn't just here in my backyard. An article I read earlier in the year concluded that "More than two animals and plants a year are becoming extinct in England" (my italics).

Look around you, read the news and weather reports--do you sometimes feel as I do, that God is "un-creating" his very creation? Does your mind ever spin out of control in wonder and concern?

There. Is. Hope.

Verses 7 and 11 repeat the same words (and repetition is what this woman needed to finally hear it): "The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

Though the world around us tumbles, though it looks like creation is unraveling at the seams, though it looks like wars and turmoil will overtake the world....

Through it all, God wants to be our "fortress." God wants to be our "stronghold." God wants to be our "ever-present help."

But God isn't going to force Himself on anyone. We must choose to rest in Him if we want to experience that protection.

Seven days for that message. Oh what a wonder I would have missed if I had stopped at day six.

* Baker and Carpenter. The Complete Word Study Dictionary: Old Testament. p. 579.

The American Storage Unit

It wasn't that long ago when "storage" meant people tucking away unused items in their attics and barns. If it didn't fit your body or home, you either threw it out or found someone else who could use it.

Now? I can't drive twenty minutes from my home without seeing huge complexes filled with row upon row of storage units. Some are climate controlled and large enough to live in!

The popularity of these businesses shouldn't be surprising. Accumulating "stuff" is the American way. To have more, better, bigger a sign of prosperity, of achieving the American dream.

When I think of storage and Scripture, my mind immediately goes to the man who tore down the barns he had to build bigger ones to store his earthly treasure...and then he died, leaving it all behind (Lk. 12). I recall God's words about bringing my tithes into the "storehouse" (Mal. 3:10). I remember Matthew 6: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (v. 19-21).

Yet, what stands out to me most is not the physical storage mentioned in Scripture, but two other metaphorical kinds of storage. One is the storage of sin--not something the average person would intentionally do; I mean, who in his right mind would want to store up his sin? But without the saving blood of Christ, that's just what a person does--creates a storehouse of sin. Romans 2:5 states, "But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God."

To create a storehouse of sin is to create a storehouse of God's wrath.

In Hosea's message to Israel, he also speaks of this sin storage in connection with God's judgment: "The iniquity of Ephraim is bound up; His sin is stored up" (Hos. 13:12). This verse, though, speaks of more than mere storage of one individual's sin. Instead, it speaks of a storehouse established for the whole country of Israel--here referred to as the tribe of "Ephraim."

Imagine this verse speaking to America, warning her that her sins are not going unnoticed. Instead, they are being stockpiled as God stands by and watches, waiting to enact His judgment just as He did in Hosea's time with Israel. It is a scary picture.

But there is hope.

Scripture speaks of a second kind of storage--of prayers. In John's vision of the throne room of heaven, he sees an angel at the "altar, holding a golden censer; and much incense was given to him, so that he might add it to the prayers of all the saints on the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, went up before God out of the angel's hand" (Rev. 8:3-4, my italics).

My prayers. Your prayers. All the prayers of the saints are gathered in golden storage bowls before God's throne.

While I don't fully understand the part our prayers play in God's final judgment, I do know one thing--God wants us to realize that not one prayer is wasted. Not one prayer is in vain. Every silent and every uttered prayer is stored up on that heavenly altar, just waiting for the God-ordained time when He will pour them out on the earth to accomplish the judgment of sinners and redemption of saints.

Be encouraged. Even though you see America storing up sin by the bag-full so that some days, our country resembles one giant garbage dump of sin, do not despair. Continue to pray for our nation, "pray and not to lose heart" (Lk. 18:1).

Whether you can see results or not, keep storing up prayers in those golden bowls.

This is Only a Test

Dear Viewers, we regret to inform you that this week's episode will be preempted by a test of the emergency broadcast system.

It seems with the extreme moving team that pushed through a Friday-Saturday move into the new house, this blogger's system hard wiring overloaded and may have fried.

The outages have been pretty wide spread, affecting even the most basic actions, language usage, and processing, overall diminishing efficiency to unacceptable levels. The final straw was this blogger's struggle to merely stay awake (without even talking about staying focused and thinking logically) during worship service this a.m. The issue has reached critical stage, and as such, a full system reboot is needed.

If you plan to continue using the system over the next week, some other intermittent problems you may experience include complete lack of short term memory recall, uncharacteristic spacey looks of indecision when asked "Where do you want this?", seriously delayed understanding of witty humor, or an inability to comprehend anything above the third grade reading level (which the intricacies in the word of God definitely are).

Since I read somewhere that people without sleep are more dangerous than drunks on the highways, I'm sure someone will be calling Child Protective Services to turn me in if I don't take this mandatory downtime.

Here's hoping the joint-muscle-brain rewiring can be done quickly. I plan to meet you back here next week...without this "duh" look on my face.

The Calm After the Machetes

Imagine waking up each morning, wondering if today is the day. You've heard the stories of the fanatical gangs swooping into sleeping villages in the dead of night. You've seen the damage their sharpened machetes have done, killing and maiming to the point where some villages resemble a butcher's shop more than a human dwelling place.

So far, your village has been spared. But you live each day knowing they will come, that there is no escape. As one who has left Islam for a life committed to Jesus, you are an apostate.

And so you wait, knowing your country has enacted Sharia Law, the law of Islam that orders apostates to be killed if they refuse to repent, to return.

The name of Christ is written on your heart; it might as well be stamped in cross-hairs of blood on your forehead, too.

Sadly, this is reality for thousands of people around the globe. And Scripture says we're next; Christians can all expect persecution.

John teaches if we belong to Jesus, we can expect the world to treat us as they did him: "Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also" (15:20). Even Timothy makes sure we understand that persecution "will" happen to "everyone" who claims Christ: "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2 Tim. 3:12).

But honestly, how many of us live daily expecting to be persecuted just as we expect the sun to rise?

Just two months ago in March, 300 Muslims entered three villages in the African country of Nigeria. In one night, they selectively burned houses and massacred with guns and machetes more than 500 Christians. 80 percent of those slaughtered were women and children.

Days later, Medical Director at Voice of the Martyrs, Dr. Kim, visited the villages to provide much-needed medical care. He wrote, "It looks to me like the Muslims had sharpened their weapons before the attack, because the wounds on these folks were significantly deeper and more destructive than any of those I saw in January when Muslims attacked Christians in Jos."

The full story of these all-too-common attacks on Christians is recorded in Dr. Kim's full report.



Yes, the savagery is horrifying. The images of mutilated toddlers no larger than my own twins crushes this mother's heart. But what really breaks me is the image at the end of the video of the remaining Christians gathered round outside the remains of a charred church building, worshiping God in song.

The tongue may be foreign to my ears, but that familiar tune connects my heart to theirs:

"'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
and to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

What a testimony--to sing of God's grade, of His trust...in a literal valley of the shadow of death.

Thank you God for those of us who are able to publicly worship you, the one true God, without constant fear for our lives. Prepare our hearts for the persecution we know must come to us as your children. In time of trial, help us to overcome our humanity so that we can stand firm, honoring and glorifying your name for all the world to see.

Photo: The Voice of the Martyrs. June 2010: Special Update Report.

**For More Information on praying for, receiving information about, or donating to the VOM ministry to help persecuted Christians, visit Voice of the Martyrs.

I Know That I Know

Bookstores abound with historical and fictional stories of people searching for their past, trying to find out where they came from. Even many popular films show a main character on a sometimes lifelong quest to discover herself.

This search for who I am, to know myself, is a major step to becoming what I can be. To know who I am is to avoid being swayed by any other versions of myself that people or society may try to impose on me. To know who I am means I don't have to prove myself to anybody.

The problem is many of us don't know who we are...or even if we do know, we sometimes forget, questioning whether what we know is true. And that forgetting, questioning, uncertainty is where we stumble and lose our effectiveness.

Jesus? He knew who He was. The religious leaders hated him. The people wanted Him to be something He was not. Even His disciples really didn't understand Him.

But He knew, and that was all that counted, what determined His actions.

One interesting demonstration of this concept is found at the Last Supper. Scripture says: "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:3-5).

Look at the connection between the first and second parts of verse three. Taking out all the extra words, the verse reads simply, "Jesus knew...SO..." He "began to wash his disciples' feet."

It's like saying, "I was thirsty SO I drank some water." But in this verse, it's not readily apparent why Part B of the verse is caused by Part A. What's the connection? How does "Jesus knew" and His subsequent actions relate?

The answer lies in Jesus' knowing who He is.

He knew His position in the godhead. He knew He was royalty with a throne awaiting Him. There was no questioning, no forgetting, no doubting.

He knew that He knew that He knew.

And because of that knowledge, He had no problem washing the disciples' feet, lowering Himself below the role of a servant, making Himself a servant of servants.

Many times, I wonder if it would be easier to follow Jesus wholeheartedly if we really and truly knew with 101% of our being who we were.

Imagine the difference it would make in our actions and attitudes if we knew that we knew that we are royalty, too? If we didn't question it--ever?

How much easier it would be to turn the other cheek, do the selfless duties nobody else wants to do, and live life fully as a servant, sacrificing everything for the sake of Christ...and not worrying about how crazy our actions made us appear to the world.