Reclaiming the Dinner Table

The typical lazy feel of Saturday mornings was shattered as I rushed to prepare everything for the weekly international meal we would be eating that evening.  The food processor quickly shredded eight cups of sweet potatoes that joined a fluffy mound of brown sugar and toasted pecans in one crock pot while the pound of black eyed peas I had been soaking overnight combined with bacon and onions to fill a second crock pot. 

Meanwhile, the rice cooker counted down to its distinctive ding as the chicken marinated in freshly squeezed lime juice.  Around me, the air filled with competing sweet and savory aromas of the Bahamas until the scent of a golden brown pineapple pie overpowered them all as it emerged from the oven. 

An hour later, I escaped the kitchen to spend the afternoon off the farm with my children while adopted daughter went to a wedding shower and husband set off to mow the lawn. 

At day's end, however, all six of us came back together as we do most every evening--gathered round the table to share a meal with each other.  It's a time for catching up with one another, sharing the highs (or lows) of our days, a time to breathe out the frustrations of the day and simply give thanks for the togetherness.

Several times in Scripture, God emphasizes the shared meal as a time of togetherness intended to foster relationship not simply with each other but with Him.

When speaking of the Promised Land, Moses tells the Israelites, "But you shall seek the Lord at the place which the Lord your God will choose from all your tribes, to establish His name there for His dwelling, and there you shall come. There you shall bring your burnt offerings, your sacrifices, your tithes, the contribution of your hand, your votive offerings, your freewill offerings, and the firstborn of your herd and of your flock.  There also you and your households shall eat before the Lord your God, and rejoice in all your undertakings in which the Lord your God has blessed you" (Deut. 12:5-7).

There, in the midst of rules about worship, sacrifices and burnt offerings, Moses emphasizes that "you and your households shall eat before the Lord your God."  Notice this eating is done in community, not alone.  It is also done in conjunction with rejoicing--giving thanks!

This "eat before the Lord" is a concept repeated multiple times in Scripture.  It's not, however, about the meal, itself, or the need to replenish our bodies with food.  Instead, coming to a communal table to share in the meal is about relationship--about needing each other--as much as it is about thanksgiving, being mindfully thankful for what God has given us.  

Earlier at Mt. Sinai, Scripture demonstrates the meal as relationship.  In Exodus 24 after the people of Israel entered into a covenant with God, the entire congregation agreeing to obey the Law of the Lord, Scripture says "Moses went up with Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel, and they saw the God of Israel; and under His feet there appeared to be a pavement of sapphire, as clear as the sky itself. Yet He did not stretch out His hand against the nobles of the sons of Israel; and they saw God, and they ate and drank" (Ex. 24:9-11).

This eating was done, quite literally, before the Lord.  Obviously, it had nothing to do with consuming calories for one's health.  Instead, the meal was a way to commemorate the sealed covenant relationship between God and Israel.   And though Scripture doesn't record it, I imagine there was a good bit of rejoicing over the blessings of God.

The New Testament as well speaks of the shared meal in terms of relationship.  While the Lord's Supper is probably the meal that springs most easily to mind, there are numerous other instances of the communal table as a symbol for relationship.

In John's inaugural vision, Jesus calls the Church at Laodicea to the table of fellowship, saying, "'Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends'"(Rev. 3:20).

Later, John tells us that history is moving towards one great table of fellowship, thanksgiving, and rejoicing: "'Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.' It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then he *said to me, 'Write, 'Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb''" (Rev. 19:7-9).

The focus of the meal is on rejoicing in the Lord our God.  It is on being thankful for His many blessings.  It is on our relationship with Him.

Though our culture seems to have less and less time for such a luxury as a shared meal round a table (except for on holidays), Christians should strive to reclaim the family dinner table as much as is possible.  No matter whether it's frozen fish sticks and fries or a four-course meal--it is in this seated position around the table where we can teach our children about the Lord, can strengthen our relationships with each other, and can strengthen our relationship with God as we seek to make the meal a time to mindfully rejoice in unity and give communal thanks for His blessings.

Raising The Next Generation of Pharisees

In the modern church, there are many of us who are diligently striving to raise up our children in the Word, to provide that Biblical foundation above all else.  We are careful with the shows we allow into our children's eyes as well as the lyrics of songs we allow into our children's ears.  We are standing in the gap for the next generation we're nurturing.

And yet, when I look at my own generation's "us versus them" mentality that we're transferring onto our children when viewing the lost world, I can't help but think there is something serious missing.  A look into Revelation 2 and the seven letters to the seven churches may hold the key, as this passage reveals churches that are missing one thing or another in their service to Jesus.

In all seven letters, Christ is a good teacher, first commending the churches for what they're doing right before showing where their faith is lacking.

Of the Ephesians, He says, "I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary. Yet this you do have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate " (Rev. 2:2-3, 6).

In this passage, there is so much good Christ finds in the Ephesians' faith.

First, they were not content to be pew-warmers. Instead, they are living a faith in action, working hard for the cause of Christ. A glance at the Greek shows the word "toil" as meaning "to grow weary, tired, exhausted (with toil or burdens or grief)"* This group takes seriously the Great Commission, demonstrating to the point of exhaustion their belief they are not saved to sit but saved to serve. Even in their physically weariness, Christ says they "have not grown weary." Despite physical weariness, they were still strong spiritually.

Next is the Ephesians' commendation for "perseverance." The very fact that this group is persevering implies that there is something they were having to persevere through. They are steadfast. They are enduring great trials and suffering, yet remain loyal to Christ.

These hardships are alluded to when Christ says, "have endured for My name's sake." The King James version renders this phrase as Christ knowing what this congregation "hast borne." This wording seems to better reflect the symbolism offered by the original Greek's "bastazō," which means "to bear, to carry"* From this, it is easy to envision the Ephesians bearing the burden of claiming Christ's name and metaphorically "carrying" His cross. It seems they are taking seriously Christ's edict that "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me" (Lk. 9:23).

And finally the Ephesians are seeking out and expelling any who deviate from the true gospel. Unlike today's Christianity where small concessions of false gospel here and there are splintering churches and watering down denominations until the gospel is completely ineffective, the Ephesians seem to hate false apostles just as Christ hates them.

BUT (and here's where the Ephesians went awry), Christ finds something specific wrong with their faith: "But I have this against you, that you have left your first love" (Re. 2:4).

This problem is so poisonous to the lost world around them.  They hated as Christ hated. BUT, they did not love as Christ loved.

They did not love with Christ's "agape" love, a love only available to those infused with the Spirit, a love not possible by any human means.

Somehow, they lost this kind of love. Whether the Ephesians lost Christ's love because they grew cynical after booting too many impostors out of their church or whether they lost that love in the busy-ness of "doing" for God...I don't know. Maybe it was a little of both, which made them become Pharisees, so focused on busily standing guard at the front door to keep out the false teachings that they exchanged a passionate, merciful love for legalism.

And perhaps then this legalism led their righteousness to turn into self-righteousness...an all-too-easy leap to make when you know you hold the truth and forget what pit God's grace saved you from.

In America today, I see Christianity being painted as a legalistic, self-righteous religion, mainly because too many Christians are using their swords of truth as weapons of hatred and self-righteousness when standing against such polarizing sins as abortion and homosexuality. This using legalism as a justification for not demonstrating agape love reveals that we, too, have left our first love.

While this heart problem affects our witness to a lost world, it also affects our teaching of our own children.  Even when we are doing what is right by raising our children in the Word and carefully guarding their hearts and minds, if we are teaching them the tenets of our faith but are not routinely showing them, ourselves, our love for the world beyond our doorsteps--if we don't consistently give them opportunities to demonstrate that love of Christ beyond the walls of our families and our churches--then we have left our first love.

Even as I write this, I'm still not sure how to walk that line of hating as Christ hates yet loving as Christ loves. They seem so opposite. But I think it goes back to what Jesus pointed out as the top two commandments--to love God and then love my neighbor as myself.

If we maintain or reclaim our first love for God, His Spirit will help us show agape love, which will then infect everyone around us, and the rest will follow.  Yet, if we do not, then my fear is that despite our best intentions to set ourselves apart from the world, we Christian parents will be raising another generation of Pharisees who will hate as Christ hates but who will not love as He loves. 

* www.blueletterbible.org

Why the Elf of the Shelf Isn't a Good Quick Fix

Growing up, we had a pair of olive green clad elves that sat on the ledge of our staircase.  On the other treads sat a hodgepodge of fond memories mother disinterred from her blue metal steamer trunk each December--the 3D gingerbread house candle from Avon, the singing red plastic bell, and the twirling, musical white-robed angel with her fifties' hairdo and halo of tiny plastic candles. 

To my brother and me, the elves were pretty cool, if for no other reason than that in a sea of our mother's "don't touch" precious memories, we were allowed free reign to gently hold these cloth objects with their molded plastic faces.  Few trips up and down the stairs didn't find me untucking their folded knees from their encircled arms and letting their twiggy legs dangle long.

Never did I ever consider that these stuffed objects might be real elves sent by Santa Claus to be sure I was behaving. 

This past year, my son came home from kindergarten with news that an elf had arrived in his room.  He had fun telling me if and when the elf magically moved around the room each day.  And much like my childhood, the elf was just a fun stuffed decoration.

But as the season progressed, I started hearing some parents using the elf as a discipline tool.  As the weeks passed, my Facebook home page literally exploded with pictures of the elf along with comments like, "You'd better be careful, Mikey.  That elf might is watching you" or "Susan was on a tear tonight.  Time for the elf to make an appearance!"

While some parents only used the cute guy as fun, for all too many, the elf became the embodiment of parental discipline, Santa's watchdog, a confidential informant so the big guy in red would know if you'd been bad or good.


Right before Christmas, a lady sweetly asked my son if he had an "Elf on the Shelf" watching to see if he was being bad lately.

Wyatt stood silent, not understanding or knowing how to respond.  Before I could bite my tongue, I blurted out,  "No.  Our house has a Father God who writes down our every action in heaven." 

This is the heart of the problem with the elf fad--teaching children behave in order to please a stuffed creature so they'll be worthy of Christmas gifts.

And now that Christmas is over? What happens now? Who should children strive to please until next December?

In Galatians, Paul speaks of grace and the law, explaining how God's grace that covers sin is not a writ of permissiveness so we can do whatever our flesh desires.  Instead, God's grace at salvation gives us the ability to fulfill the law, something we could never do within ourselves.

He then says,  "But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith" (Gal. 3:23-24).

You know the law of Moses he speaks of--do not murder, do not steal, do not lie, do not covet, do not commit adultery, keep the Sabbath holy, honor your father and mother, don't worship other gods....... Then, there is Jesus' clarification of those laws in Matthew 5 where He teaches that anger in one's heart is the equivalent of murder, where lust in one's heart is the equivalent of adultery.  This is the fullest extent of obeying the law given in the Old Testament.

According to this above passage, before we became followers of Christ, the law of Moses "tutored" us, teaching us to choose right actions and, ultimately, leading us to salvation when we learned we could never keep the law on our own and needed the blood of Calvary to redeem us from our sin.

The point is that this is how we must raise our children--under the law.  Not under fear of an elf but under fear of displeasing a holy God.  We must choose to raise our children under the law until they come to faith in Him, allowing the law to be their "tutor" to lead them to faith in Christ.

Our children must be taught that daily (not just in December), God knows their comings and goings, everything done in secret, every thought they has ever entered their minds.

In our household, I constantly remind my children that God not only knows and sees all, but that He writes all their actions--good and bad--down in His book: "and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds" (Rev. 20:12).

In other words, discipline isn't about an elf.  It isn't about what mommy and daddy want.  

Choosing right actions is about what God wants and expects from them.

In our household, husband and I strive (and fail miserably and strive again) to discipline our children based around the Ten Commandments.  At this age, they're usually guilty of not honoring their parents, lying, coveting as is expressed through ingratitude, murder through anger, etc.   I also routinely walk around the house yelling out the fruit of the spirit at my children when I see them doing something wrong.  "Kindness!!!" or "Gentleness!!!" (Gal. 5).  The result is that just last week, my oldest looked at me before I could say a word and said, "I know, I know.  Patience."

This post isn't an elf bashing.  One day, I'm sure my mother will pass down to me one of her antique elves to sit on my shelf.   But when she does, it will be simply a sweet memory, not a tool for discipline.

Instead, this is about parenting the next generation. 

We parents must choose to instill in our children a healthy fear and respect for God alone.  Respect for a holy God and fear of disappointing a heavenly Father should direct our parenting.  It should propel our children through every season of the year, not just at Christmas time. 

Before We Point Another Finger...

The government, the Democrats, the Republicans, Wall Street, Roe vs. Wade, our public school system, Feminism, divorce, materialism--

If I were to ask you what's wrong with our planet, would it be hard to point your finger at one or more of these as the root of all moral decline?

Or maybe it's something else you see when you turn on the 10:00 news, read a newspaper, or better yet, just take a walk through your neighborhood.

Most of us need not even open our eyes to find something, someone who would meet the qualifications of an abomination in Scripture. We Christians?  We're really good at finger pointing.

Still, you and I might shamefully yank our hands back to our sides if we truly understand how God's judgment works.

God's condemnation of sin?  His judgment?

It starts with His own people.

Scripture records the prophet Ezekiel's vision of God's coming destruction of evil.  Since Ezekiel and thousands of Israelites were living in exile in pagan Babylon at the time, one might expect God to be pointing His finger at King Nebuchadnezzar and that whole bunch of murderous idol worshipers who were mistreating God's chosen people, defiling His holy temple, and mocking His holy name.

Yet, that's not what happens.

Instead, after having a "man clothed in linen" "put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations which are being committed in [Jerusalem's] midst," He tells His executioners, "Utterly slay old men, young men, maidens, little children, and women, but do not touch any man on whom is the mark; and you shall start from My sanctuary.' So they started with the elders who were before the temple" (Ez. 9:4, 6).

Here, God's judgment starts in His holy city of Jerusalem. At His temple. With His chosen people.

God restates this concept in the New Testament when the apostle Peter says, "For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God" (1 Pet. 4:17).

Judgment of sin starts at the house of God.

Judgment of sin starts with the people of God.

What's even more condemning of a Christians's finger-pointing attitude is John's inaugural vision in the book of Revelation, a book that is often used on street corners to tout God's coming judgment of this whole sinful world. 

But before God describes all the woes coming upon the earth? Before He gives us a vision of the the final judgment and of unsaved being dragged down into an eternal pit of fire?

Like Ezekiel, he starts with God's people, the temple of God represented by the church: "I saw seven golden lampstands; and in the middle of the lampstands I saw one like a son of man" (Rev. 1:12-13).  Just so we don't miss the lampstand reference, John clearly states the "the seven lampstands are the seven churches" (Rev. 1:20).

What follows is two chapters chock full of both praise and condemnation of God's church for not being the pure, holy, passionate light to the world that God has called it to be.

Do you see the pattern?

All these passages show that God doesn't first point His holy finger at your unsaved neighbor, at the masses living a flagrantly sinful life.  Instead, He is pointing His finger at Christians like you and me in an attempt to purify us of all sin so that we can glorify Him as a light in the surrounding darkness.
 
Judgment begins at the house of the Lord, with the people of God.

So, before we wave that index finger too boldly, we must first look to God's word to see what finger He may be pointing at each of us. 



Image: Sculpture in Brisbane, Australia